The Book of Love Preparedness

My cousin Sad Grief, who is twenty-seven years old this year, has never been in a relationship and is watching kids her age go to kindergarten. I wonder how she feels? She’s about to be three years old, so she’s not in a hurry? My aunt and uncle never gave her the pressure in this regard, they are not happy, they do not have much say in this point. My cousin was born and grew up in such a situation, which can not be described by the word “sad”. Slowly, she also seems to be living without food, love, marriage in her mind has become garbage, baggage. So she started her career after graduation.

I believe that when God created man, he gave him the need for affection, especially when he fulfills his basic material needs, such as spirituality, affection, and friendship, the love that comes along with it is also essential. The process of accepting this normal and meaningful idea and coming to love through understanding is also a manifestation of courage and love, it is a process from strangeness to familiarity to trust, acceptance and becoming one. It’s hard for a person without love and courage to take this step. Luckily, Sadness has a lot to say to me, especially the private words in her heart, and I can see that she also needs a confidant.

(I)

Cousin: Cousin, I’ve been very bad lately, I always feel empty inside, and I love reading romance novels. My heart is also very messy and I have no motivation to live. My life is quite stable now, my parents are better than before, and the antiques in my family are much more kind, but I don’t know why it’s like this? Why don’t you help me analyze it?

I sometimes have to play the role of mom, sister, and teacher to satisfy her needs, but I’m happy with that. I think the deepest part of me is finally rebelling, she’s going to get a taste of what it’s like to have her desires fight back, being an outsider is good for that.

“Grief, hold on , let me think. Are you sick.” I’m going to set a trap for her.

“Cousin, how can that be I’m in good health and under thirty”. She quickly and confidently replied.

Being physically fit doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good on the inside, right?

You mean psychological. I don’t think so.

I think there’s something wrong with the psyche, the spirit.

That bad? What do you have to go on?

I studied psychology and read a lot of books for you.

Don’t scare me. I don’t believe it.

A healthy person is one who thinks, feels, behaves and is full of energy from the inside out. ……

What’s wrong with me?

What do you think?

I don’t feel like I’m lacking anything right now! I know there you say the Creator, I also slowly understand …… parents love me, have good friends, stable work everything is not bad ah!

Family and friendship, what else?

Love.

Yes, you need love.

No way, sister.

You have to believe that our inner voice is sometimes more important than we think.

I’ll think about it! Thank you.

We’ve talked a lot, and I’m well aware of her needs that maybe she herself sometimes ignores.

(ii)

One month later ……

“Cousin, I believe your words are right. But for me, it’s really not easy to accept the fact that I have to make changes.”

Honey, you’ve realized that you have to make adjustments, that’s a big step forward, the future ones can come slowly!

Yes, at least it’s not so depressing now.

That’s great.

What’s next?

Do you have a favorite person in real life?

Not at the moment.

Okay, we need to prepare.

Preparation?

Yes, you need to know yourself, what kind is right for you.

What kind of love concept is right ……”

You’re right.

Let’s prepare a little bit. First step, what qualities do you like in a person?

Love, responsibility, intelligence, ability…

Do you have these qualities?

Not all of them.

Then what do you need to do?

Cultivate them yourself.

Yes, you must want to attract the one you like to fall in love with you too!

I see. Thank you.

When a person’s heart is opened, her thoughts and practices change. A person who never intends to get married doesn’t think about why she needs to put on makeup, why she learns to cook, why she learns to be a good wife and mother. But once that medium desire is there, it is not suppressed. All actions become meaningful. This is the power of love. The greatest power in the universe is love. God is love, so whatever He gives to man can inspire love.

(iii) Overcoming Realistic Resistance

Being afraid of something you’ve never tried before, sometimes the resistance isn’t so great.

Cousin: I think most of the people around me are pursuing careers. And they all say that love is outdated, women can support themselves with a career, they don’t need love at all.

I can understand their thinking, what do you think?

I think I need it.

That’s fine, pursue what you want, everyone has their own opinion, we just respect them.

I understand that, but sometimes I feel like I’m the odd man out among them. I feel out of place. Is it possible to find the love you want?

I’m sure you will. Have faith. There’s hope in being young and alive.

Okay, I won’t give up.

(D) How important is appearance?

“It’s always the handsome men and women, I hate myself so much, my nose is so flat, my eyes are small, and my figure is not good. Sister, I’m going crazy.” This is what all women say about themselves, and it’s to be expected. How many people in heaven and earth are satisfied with their looks? Today’s aesthetics are even more wildly bombastic, adding fuel to the fire to portray the concept of beauty. Sadly, you need to learn to appreciate yourself. You didn’t get your life’s looks by working hard, you got them for nothing. Have you ever thought about it? Who sets the standard of beauty? Your face inherits the features of your parents, while at the same time distinguishing you from them. What a wise design, to base its value solely on your preferences? In any case, your existence is a legacy of thousands of years of fire and suffering. You have to value this unique life.

(v) Family background

A person’s past does not determine her future life. Whether you are poor or rich. It doesn’t matter whether you are poor or rich, whether you are a farmer or an animal breeder. If you attach too much importance to these will be bound, can not move forward. You can only wander in the same place. Sadly, I think you stand on a high and correct view of yourself, things. Once a person chooses the wrong perspective, he sees everything negatively and wrongly. For principled people, both sides hold common standards, goals. The family, the language and other things may not be too important. If there is no standard, blindly look at the appearance of the conditions may not be as expected, the hearts and minds of people constantly changing, many things can not be predicted.

(F) unrealistic fantasies

It can be said that every young girl’s heart hides a beautiful dream of love. That of a princess and a prince. ……

To be able to fantasize is a great gift, it will satisfy the desire of the human psyche. Bring people happy.

Don’t go after an illusory thing, which is meaningless to speak of. But our hearts often deceive us. No one is going to stop you from doing something, and even if they did, you still can’t restrain your heart from obeying as well. But one sows what one sows and reaps what one reaps. The consequences need to be borne by yourself. You are just bored for a while and want to polish your time. After that it will be just that, and there will be no real happiness or improvement.

(VII) Mental Balance

Cousin, even though you mentally agree and accept that you want to fall in love, why is it still so painful? I can’t tell you what I feel in my heart, but there may be other reasons too. My roommate told me that even my simple greetings put a lot of pressure on her, and that overwhelmed me. I’m glad you’re willing to talk about your feelings. Every single person is different. Our bodies and our minds are guiding us but sometimes they are at odds and we need to give ourselves and each other time and space to process and adjust to the differences between the inside and the outside world. It means it’s good to be mindful of other people’s business, to be sensible, to be quiet and contemplative ……