Lost love because first I lost myself

Before he fell in love with her, he was a popular figure in the college because of his brilliant literary skills and outstanding talent in hosting foreign languages. I don’t know how many girls, secretly secretly secretly in love with him, some will love letters on the classroom window sill, there are also bold girls, on the road to intercept him, red-faced ask him if he can go to see a movie together. But he was not yet open, no favorite girl, so for such a passionate pursuit, he almost no feeling, only focus on school. But this kind of indifference, on the contrary, caused more girls to love. The girls all said, the more he insisted on himself and walked proudly, the image of him in their hearts, the more deeply imprinted and maverick.

And she, in this way, stood out from the crowd of girls in his sight. He remembered meeting her when he was about to go on stage to announce the next program he was going to appear in. Backstage by the curtain, he accidentally bumped into her. He hastily said he was sorry, but she smiled and softly said, “It’s okay.” With a quick glance, he could no longer remove her clear and pure smile from his heart.

Such a deep imprint made his hosting that time, as bad as it could be for wandering off. Often he forgot his lines as he spoke, and sometimes he mispronounced them even though he was clearly looking at the cue in his hand. In one whole evening, he made more than a dozen slips of the tongue. When he walked off the stage, some students even accused him to his face, saying that he had lost face for the college.

Of course he didn’t care. In fact, he went to see her as soon as the party was over. He asked her to go to an all-night movie, and as a result was unceremoniously marked down on the exposure table the next day by the teacher who was checking on the night.

The man in hot love is very different from his old, unruly self. His personality, gradually become more gentle, the morning used to running, he changed the route to a few hundred meters between his dormitory and her short distance. He was always the first to jump out of bed, ran to the cafeteria to buy breakfast, and then in her dormitory downstairs waiting for her to get up slowly. He would stay up all night tossing and turning for her words. In the past, he used the hour before bedtime to write a one or two thousand word article to submit to the newspaper. He also skipped class from time to time just to go around the streets and buy her a dress that he hadn’t meant to mention. Often, when she texted him that she liked his gift, he was in the classroom being criticized by the teacher who looked at him favorably for not answering a question.

The first year he fell in love with her, he failed one of his foreign language exams, and he ended up paying a make-up fee and blitzing for another ten days before he could barely pass the make-up exam.

They fell in love with the second year of summer vacation, he took her around the mountains to play water, spent all the money on the way to take the risk of escaping the ticket on the train, but still did not escape the fiery eyes of the car police, will be a good reprimand him.

They fell in love in the spring of the third year, the former sincere persuade him to adhere to the editor of the writing, gradually lost contact with him, and finally even he almost can not remember, initially because of the writing and was admired by many girls.

The year he was about to graduate from college, he thought he could take her to his hometown city to find a stable job, and then get married and have children, to draw a happy ending to love. But then something bad happened: first he was told that he wouldn’t be able to get his degree because he didn’t pass three of his classes. Then his parents contacted the organization, because of some kind of interest reasons, find a reason to put him off again. The girl’s parents, on the other hand, gave instructions that if they didn’t stay in the big city, their love was off the table.

It was at this point that they began their endless quarrels. Such fights, every time, ended in his compromise. He thought that his accommodation of her would make her cherish this love as she always did in the turbulent time before graduation. But instead, he realized that the result of such capitulation over and over again was that he was getting farther and farther away from her. Until finally, she said to him, let’s break up.

He was almost angry at first, thinking of his best four years, in order to this love, delayed the study, waste of words, alienated from the host, and lost the degree, and even always proud of the personality, are gone, and such a dedication, but did not exchange for a love of the diploma.

Then one day, he met a former girl who once asked him to go to the movies on the street, he immediately called out the girl’s name, and the girl was looking at him for ten minutes, before carefully said: “I’m sorry, you and four years ago I know you, change too much.”

He pursued to ask where the change was, and the girl, slightly red-faced, hesitated for a long time before saying, “At that time, your unique personality, I don’t know how many girls you attracted, but now, when you walk amongst the crowd, it’s hard for me to recognize you at a glance, and your cranes’ radiance has disappeared so completely, for some reason. Don’t you know that your girlfriend at that time, it took a lot of effort to create an opportunity for you to notice her?”

He finally realized that he was the first to lose himself before he subsequently lost his love. The necessary lessons of love, it turned out, also included how to consistently maintain the light of self.